Embrace the Suck

I stumbled upon the catchphrase “Embrace the Suck” in a recent news article that I read.  It’s a saying used by our military men and women, used as a way of dealing with hard times while on the front lines of our war against terrorism.  I think it’s an apt modern version of “taking up one’s cross,” which was the focus of this past Sunday’s Gospel reading, Mk 8:27-35.

“[Jesus] summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it.’ ”

We are all called to embrace the hardships in life, knowing that Jesus endured the ultimate hardship to save our souls.  The cross is the cloud, salvation is the silver lining.  If you reject the cloud, you also reject the silver lining.

I’m sure we can all think of instances large and small where something bad eventually turns into something good.  That is God’s way of working in our lives.  I remember how painful it was when my first child Luke was stillborn.  Somehow, by God’s grace, I had faith that He would find a way to make good come of it, yet I had no idea how that would happen.  Ten months later, Andy was born, and today he is the light of my life.  That birth would not have been possible if Luke’s death had not happened.  If I had somehow been able to prevent Luke from dying, then I would not have Andy.  That’s what I mean by saying, “If you reject the cloud, you also reject the silver lining.”

So I call on everyone reading this to “embrace the suck,” or embrace the hardships in life, with a sense of faith and gratitude for blessings past and future.  You never know how God can turn a bad situation around into a great blessing.  He repays us for our hardships with blessings a hundredfold in return.  For:

“Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.  Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
“Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Phil 2:6-11

The glory given to Jesus certainly goes well beyond the suffering he endured for our sake.  God repays us in similar fashion for our sufferings… sometimes in this world, and always in the next.

Saying Goodbye to Camelot

In case you’ve been living in a cave the past week, we recently lost the “lion of the Senate,” Ted Kennedy.  Despite his lionization, his life’s record is decidedly mixed (as I suspect most of ours are).  On the positive side, we have his 40+ years of service in politics fighting for the poor and the elderly.  On the negative side, we have his support for abortion rights, his responsibility for the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, and who can forget the infamous “waitress sandwich!”

However, the focus of my post today is on the Funeral Mass for the “lion.”  Upon watching the video of the funeral, I couldn’t help but be struck, and somewhat sickened, by its grandeur and pomp.  At times, it seemed to me more like a three-ring circus than an actual Mass.  I ask myself, “what did this man do to deserve all this?”  I think about all the people who toil in service to the poor every day, and the people who live lives much holier than ol’ Teddy, and wonder why they aren’t getting this kind of recognition.

I come to the realization, though, that the circus/funeral is not so much for Teddy but for the people who loved and adored him, flawed as he was.  It’s the last hurrah for Camelot, which is now dead and buried forever, no matter how much the media may want to pass it on to the Obamas.  Now this complicated legacy is left to history.

In order to prevent any of you from being sickened as I was by all the pomp and circumstance, I recommend that before you watch the funeral you put a sign on your computer with the following words:

“Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.  When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others.  Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.”When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them.  Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.”  [Mt 6:1-6]

About Forgiveness

I’ve finally forgiven my parents for getting divorced.

Yeah… I’ve told myself dozens of times that I’ve forgiven them, without really letting go of the anger, but I’m pretty sure I’ve forgiven them 100% now.

…and I’m pretty convinced that they’re not going to Hell.

You see, my dilemma is that my Church whom I love, teaches that one who divorces and then remarries, like both of them have done, live in a perpetual state of sin, because in the Catholic Church marriage is until death, and divorce is not recognized.  Therefore one who remarries lives in a constant state of committing adultery.

My response is…  if I can forgive them for this, how then can it be that God cannot forgive them?

I believe that He can… and He will.  I only have to look to Jesus for the justification of this claim:

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him and the criminals there, one on his right, the other on his left.  Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” [Luke 23:34, emphasis added]

OK.  Let’s break this down:

First, how can Jesus say the people crucifying him did not know what they were doing?  Of course they knew what they were doing.  They were nailing a man to a cross to humiliate and kill him.  They may not have known they were crucifying the Son of God, but barring that, they knew what they were doing.

Second, how could the Father do anything but grant Jesus’ request?  After all, the Son and the Father are actually one.  Jesus didn’t just ask that they be forgiven.  By virtue of His request, they WERE forgiven.

Now, the people crucifying Jesus did not repent.  They didn’t say ‘I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.’  They kept right on doing what they were doing.  Jesus (who is God) forgave them anyway.  Since He is God, he has that right.  He can violate his own rules if He wants to.

Therefore, if Jesus forgave the very people who were nailing Him to the cross in the midst of the act, without repentance on their part, how could He possibly not also forgive my mother and father?

Of course He will.  I am confident of it.

Is Capitalism Evil?

Is Capitalism evil?

An interesting question to ponder.  The driver of the Capitalist system is mutual self-interest mostly based on the individual accumulation of wealth. Jesus teaches us that giving up our desire for possessions is key to entering God’s kingdom.  Reference Luke 18:18-26, 14:33, 6:20, Matthew 19:16-24, etc.  How can an economic system whose driving force is antithetical to Jesus’ teachings be anything but evil?

My answer is that it might not be evil if God can use it to promote a greater good.  The Capitalist system, more than any other economic system tried, has managed to raise the standard of living of all who are fortunate enough to live under it.  In America, it has even changed the definition of poverty and the ‘basic necessities of life’ from food, shelter, and clothing (or lack thereof) to television, cell phones, and a laundry list of other things.

In order for man to contemplate God, his basic necessities must be cared for.  If I’m worried about where my next meal is coming from, I’m going to be hunting or gathering, not praying.  We should first care for the physical needs of people, and then attend to their spiritual needs.  No economic system has done a better job of providing for man’s physical needs then the Capitalist system.  While Capitalism can potentially enslave people to the pursuit of possessions, it can also free people from dependence and allow them the time to discover and love God.  It can also provide enough excess wealth that, in the hands of compassionate people, can be distributed to care for the basic needs of the poor.  These are the ‘greater goods.’

Granted, Capitalism is not a perfect system.  There is massive inequality.  Huge (exponential) differences between rich and poor.  Some would call that injustice.  I don’t know.  All I’m saying is that nothing in the history of mankind has improved the human condition more than the Capitalist economic system.  Both rich and poor have benefited, however unequally.

Other systems have been tried, and none has worked as well, or at all.  Some Socialist and Communist systems (i.e. USSR, DPRK) have even devolved into repressive Totalitarian governments.  The Chinese have admitted failure and are adopting the Capitalist system (although I believe economic freedom without political freedom is not any freedom at all), even as we in the US seem to be slowly abandoning it.

Human beings are imperfect, and are bound to come up with imperfect economic systems.  Capitalism is imperfect.  However, I have yet to see anything better out there.  Let’s pray that God will guide our political leaders to choose rightly as they contemplate the future direction of our economy.

Loving my Child and Loving God

I’ve been thinking about my son Luke lately…  for those of you who don’t know, he was stillborn two years, four months, and 10 days ago.  I was wondering to myself if my wife and I had ever made a Christmas stocking for him.  Certainly we’ve made one for ourselves, Andy, and even the cats.  I was imagining those stockings on the mantle on Christmas morning.  Ours full of goodies, and Luke’s empty.

Why empty?

Because Luke is in heaven, and therefore has no need or want for anything.

So why do I love him?
Why do I still remember him?
…think of him?
…even talk to him?

He has no need for anything.  His every desire is fulfilled by virtue of his eternal communion with God in heaven.  He has no need of my love.

The answer is because I need to love him.  I have an impulse within me that makes me want to pour love out on my child.  This personal need of mine persists even though Luke has no need for anything I can possibly give.

The same is true for my relationship with God.  God, being the infinite and transcendent Creator, has no need for anything I can provide.  By virtue of his infinity, my worship adds nothing to His greatness.  My good works add nothing to His glory.  My belief in Him does absolutely nothing for Him.  My failure to believe in Him would take away nothing from Him.  I cannot possibly add to, or subtract from, God.

I love God because I need to love Him.  I have an impulse within me that makes me want to pour my love out to God.  It is because of this love that I worship, do good works, and try to avoid sin.  I may not always succeed, but it is this impulse that causes me to persist against all odds.

Challenge Yourself

Inspiration:  Jn 6:51-58, Prv 9:1-6, Eph 5:15-20

Jesus provoked outrage among the Jews with this saying:

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.  Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.  For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.  Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.”

The statement was so outrageous because God’s law prohibited the Jews from eating any meat with the blood still in it.  Even stranger still, it sounds like Jesus is talking about cannibalism!  Of course, we in the present day understand these words for what they are… references to Holy Communion.  But imagine being there in the moment.  What would your reaction have been if you were a Jew at that time?

This is just one example of how Jesus challenged the existing social customs of his day, calling the people to a greater understanding of what it means to serve God.  The other two readings for today revolve around the concept of wisdom.  In order for us to become wise, we must have critical thinking.  We must do what Jesus did, and challenge our own preconceived notions, and those of others, so that we can grow in wisdom and in faith.

So… let’s ask ourselves…  What preconceived notions do you or I have that is keeping us from growing in the faith?  Is there something holding us back?  Sometimes it seems as though Catholic doctrine discourages this kind of critical thinking.  However, to the extent that it keeps us from a deeper and more meaningful communion with God, we must challenge ourselves and think critically.  There is no harm in challenging the preconceived notions of our time.  After all, that is what Jesus did…  and we thank him and praise him for doing so.

Lay Down Your Life

On August 14, Catholics celebrate the feast of Saint Maximilian Kolbe.  Kolbe is a modern-day martyr.  He was arrested by the Nazi Gestapo and sent to the Auschwitz death camp after having helped shelter and hide 2,000 Jews to save them from a similar fate.  While in prison, he volunteered to die in place of another man because the other man had a family and he did not.

In the Gospel of John [15:13], Jesus says:  ”No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

We are all called to lay down our lives.  Some, like Maximilian Kolbe, follow Jesus’ example and do so in the literal sense.  The rest of us are called to lay down our lives in a figurative sense.  We are to give up our earthly desires, so that we may live not only for ourselves, but for others and for God.

Married couples in particular are called to this type of sacrifice.  For marriage, whether we know it or not when we get married, is not a vehicle for mutual pleasure, but is more an example of mutual self-sacrifice.  We sacrifice ourselves for the sake of each other and the family.  This is even more apparent when children enter into the picture.

The reading for August 14 from Matthew’s Gospel emphasizes this.

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested [Jesus], saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?”  He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?”  He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  I say to you, whoever divorces his wife… …and marries another commits adultery.”  [Mt 19:3-9]

I theorize that many people get divorced because they forget about the true self-sacrificial purpose of marriage.  Once marriage fails to bring the fulfillment that the person was looking for originally, he/she seeks it elsewhere.  After several years, that person probably ends up in the same place with another spouse, because it’s impossible to maintain the same feelings that one has when a relationship is new.

However, like a fine wine, a relationship gets better with age.  Rather than an overwhelming blast of sweetness the moment it hits your tongue, you get more subtle and complex flavors.  It becomes something worth lingering over… a slow burn as opposed to a flash and a pop.

I hope the above is true for you as it is for me.  No relationship is perfect, just as no one person is perfect.  I saw a memorable quote in a recent Time Magazine article on marriage:

Around the time of my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, I turned to my father at the dinner table one night and said, “It’s amazing, Dad — 50 years, and you never once had an affair. How do you account for that?”

He replied simply, “I can’t drive.”  [Caitlin Flanigan, July 2, 2009.]

I guess the lesson there is that sometimes it’s wise to voluntarily limit your options, since we are all subject to temptation.  That is just part of what it means to lay down your life for another.

God Does not Deal in Technicalities

Inspiration:  Mt 18:21–19:1, 1 Samuel 16:7, Luke 23:42-43

It can be discouraging to Catholics when they are confronted with the intricacies of Catholic doctrine.  Some things can seem unfair.

Will I really go to hell if I am guilty of a mortal sin and get hit by a bus and die on my way to Confession?  That wouldn’t be fair.

Don’t worry.  God does not deal in technicalities.  We have laws and doctrines because people need them, not because God needs them.  He is not obliged to follow our rules.

“Not as man sees does God see, because man sees the appearance but the LORD looks into the heart.”  [1 Samuel 16:7]

God’s mercy is endless, and he showers it upon those who accept Him.  Jesus instructs his apostles:

“I say to you, [you must forgive someone who sins against you] not seven times but seventy-seven times.”  [Mt 18:22]

In Hebrew numerology, the number seven also implies infinity.  So Jesus is telling his followers to forgive infinitely.  How much more then, does God forgive us?

I find the most striking example of God’s mercy to be how Jesus deals with the repentant criminal while they are both in the midst of being crucified.

Then [the repentant criminal] said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”  [Jesus] replied to him, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”  [Luke 23:42-43]

God treats the person who undergoes a last minute conversion the same as one who has lived as a good person his entire life.  How great is His mercy!  It may not be fair, but God’s ways are not the same as our ways.  Have faith in God’s unending mercy.

Be Not Afraid

Inspiration:  Dt 31:1-8, Mt 18:1-14

This part of Moses’ “farewell address” in the book of Deuteronomy centers around the concept of courage and trust in God.  Doubt, brought on by fear, is what condemned the Israelites to forty years of wandering in the desert.  Now, Moses asks the new generation of Israelites to maintain their trust in God as they face challenges upon entering the promised land.

Jesus’ words in Matthew’s gospel remind us that God values complete humility, trust, and dependence, like that of a small child to his/her parents.

When I see my 18-month-old son Andy, I see those qualities of courage and trust that God values.  He is fearless… ready and eager to take on any challenge.  He dives into the pool without thinking twice, he wants to walk through the neighborhood as though he owns it, he treats every obstacle as a challenge to be joyfully overcome.  With all of his fearlessness comes a complete trust that when he falls or gets into trouble, his Mom and/or Dad will be there to rescue him, pick him up, set him on his feet… ready to take on the next challenge head-on.

In short, Andy’s mom and I are called to be like God for him.  We are called to be like Andy for God.  We are called to have no fear and trust completely in him, confident that when we falter, he will be there to pick us up and set us back on our feet.

Persist in Prayer

Inspiration:  Mt 15: 21-28

“’Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David!  My daughter is tormented by a demon…’  …He said in reply, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’  But the woman came and did him homage, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’  He said in reply, ‘It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.’  She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.’  Then Jesus said to her in reply, ‘O woman, great is your faith!  Let it be done for you as you wish.’  And her daughter was healed from that hour.”

The lesson from today’s Gospel is persistence in prayer.  Said another way, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”  It’s hard to imagine what it would be like to be God.  He has millions, perhaps billions, of people praying to Him at every moment of every day asking for this and that.  That said, he is the infinite God and he has the power to give us what we need.  However, like a parent being bugged constantly for that new toy, I think God is more likely to relent to those who pray to him and beg him incessantly…  if only to shut them up.  In order for us to be capable of this incessant prayer, we must have faith that God has the ability to deliver.  The Canaanite woman in the Gospel passage above had that faith, and was capable of this persistent begging, and she got what she wanted.

Lord, through faith, give us the ability to come to you with our needs.